Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Autopsy of an Audience

From what I hear it's women who are seeing Brokeback Mountain. Some drag their husbands to see it with them.

My employer saw it, at the insisstence of his wife. He's caught some derisive comments for it, believe me. One of the advantages of working in a politically incorrect engineering firm is being able to ride mock anyone who sees a homo propaganda film.

He tells us that every guy in there was sitting next to a woman (or at least a guy in drag).

Why? Seems the women want to see a 'sensitive love story' no matter what.

I wonder if the women would enjoy Brokenheart Mountain? It's the same story, but told from the women's point of view where their marriages are cold and listless. Somethings missing but they just can't put their finger on it.

How about Brokentaboo Mountain. Same story, except the sheepranchers are buggering the sheep. Every year they take a 'fishing trip' and go back and bugger some more sheep. This can be tender and loving right? Just play the right music and you'll 'feeeeeel' the sympathetic feelings the music creates no matter what is taking place on the screen.

Why not a tender 1950's love story about a white guy who marries but has a black lover on the side? Forget about his wife, play the right music and with the right editing of the scenes, everyone who sees it will feel sorry for the guy since he's portrayed as the victim.

You know, every guy out there today, who is cheating on his wife is a victim? Just play the right music and take this piece of propaganda to its logical conclusion.

Back to the title. After reviewing all that I know about this I've concluded that anyone who sees it and feels sorry for the sheepranchers is a simp and is easily manipulated.

Are You Pitied, Fool?

Go here for the complete list. Below are some samples.
The last time Mr. T and Chuck Norris teamed up, Atlantis sunk.

Mr. T is very superstitious. Because of this, he tears off the head of any black cat that crosses his path. In fact, he tears off the head of just about any animal that crosses his path. Mr. T can never be too careful.

One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.

During the first season of American Gladiators, 24 contestants died while attempting to run the Eliminator. The Eliminator was a cardboard cutout of Mr. T.
And you thought Vin Diesel was bad.

I think some of the Chuck Norris ones are the best.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Logic, Illogic, and Natural Highs

I've always loved National Geographic. I have a ream of memories of the Apollo and Mercury missions. TV was amazing and sometimes live, but National Geographic had color pics in their articles and, before the internet brought everything imaginable to your fingertips in an instant, let you own a piece of the glory.

I learned a lot of natural science and geography through that magazine. I coulda done without the spider articles though. Their spider pics went to the edge of the pages, no margins. It just creeped me out to turn a page, and try as I might, touch a picture of a spider.

When I was born, my Grandmother bought me a lifetime subscription. I was one of the last people to get one and plan to, one day, be the last man on the earth with a lifetime subscription to National Geographic. Some time ago I was proudly looking forward to that day, but as I get older I figure it'll be like being the tallest guy in the room. It's gonna fall on someone, may as well be me.

The biology of love is amazing. Love at first sight exists and is a documentable chemical change in the brain. You are on a natural high that lasts 1-3 months and that is just the beginning. The hormonal and neurological interactions are fascinating. Imagine my excitement when the latest issue of Nat'l Geog has LOVE as it's featured article.

Imagine my dissapointment when the article is full of fluff, lots of personal routine of the author, and little science and what science there is, is mostly old information to me. But wait, it gets worse, the author goes on to malign long term (i.e. marriage for life) relationships and show that they are not for everyone because "not everyone likes peas" and "you don't want glue stuck on your skin".

I wonder how what percentage of the readers of that article read it, agreed with the small unrelated portions, and accepted the author's opinion because they agreed with the silly points.

I give Vox's page a lot of the credit for a drastic increase in my ability to identify logical fallacies. I used to read stuff and sort out the facts and science and push the other stuff off to the side and ignore it. I now take the 'other stuff' and dissect and burn it if necessary, really I file it as blatent garbage in my mind.

I plan to add rhetoric and logic to my son's homeschool curricula. Maybe that'll be a good use for the lifetime subscription of NG I have. I'll say "Lets read this and spot the fallacies."

Monday, January 23, 2006

Math vs. Feelings

There's a current tv commercial that starts with a line of text stating that "More than one woman feels like the fattest woman in the room". I think they are trying to invoke feelings of sympathy from the audience, but I cannot help but think that 'these women need a lesson in simple math.'

The law of Maximums and Minimums would tell them that there can only be one fattest women in the room (and one thinnest).

This leads me to wonder if women had better math skills, would thay have more self confidence? They'd certainly have better paying jobs.

How's that for an obscure microrant?

Prayer Request

Not sure why, but my nieces twins are being delivered today. They were due sometime in April.

All I know is it is bad news. Please pray for them, their parents, and the rest of the family.

Thanks for your support.

The twins were born (2.3 and 2.5 lbs each) and are breathing on their own. Thank you for your support.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I Know Art When I See It

I'm generally not a knife nut. I carry a Schrade product that is small enough to pass security's guidelines at the Federal Courthouse, but large enough to be usefull. That is kinda the key to it for me, is it usefull?

Then I see stuff by this guy and I wish I had $650, or more, to invest in a knife. Ooh, ooh, ooohhh, ooohhh, ooh!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Defending the American Cowboy

Not that the American Cowboy (I'm talking real ones here, not Hollywood Cowboiths) need anyone to defend them. They are a breed, that in this day and age still, are in the saddle all day long, packing a gun stating before their age is in the double digits.

I vacation in the boonies in Montana and lived in a one grocery store/one gas station/two bar town in Colorado for 4 years. I've seen, known, drank with, and heard tales of the American Cowboy. Bareback Mountain ain't about Cowboys.

The latest piece of Hollywood pavlovian conditioning (and I mean that in the strictest sense. What you see on the screen has nothing to do with the feelings the soundtrack invokes, but your brain will connect them simply because it is exposed to them at the same time so you will walk out of the theatre feeling sorry for the homos and not their wives or children) put out by the MHL is incredibly ignorant of the American Cowboy.

First Cowboys wrangle cows. It's in the name. In Intestionalparasite Mountain, the main characters are sheep ranchers, the longtime foe of Cowboys. From what I hear, other than the hats, there's not a cowboy in the movie.

Secondly, sheep aren't left out on the range overnight, night after night. They are to vulnerable to too many predators. Cow, yes, sheep no. Wolves, coyotes, large eagles, will all eat a sheep. It takes a grizzly or a pack of wolves to take down a cow. The sheepranchers will corral the sheep each night if they can.

So any movie with a plotline that is dependent on sheepranchers going up into the mountains on anything longer than an afternoon trip is based in ignorance. But then the MHL doen't really like dealing in the facts, do they.

Anyway, do your part to oppose the MHL. Don't go see the movie and inform people that Faecalincontinence Mountain is about sheepranchers, not cowboys. I'm sure the MHL is trying to associate the rugged independence of the American Cowboy with their lifestyle through this movie in an attempt to try and make it appealing. Much in the same way as a midgrade woman's cigarette became the worlds best selling cigarette when I adopted a coyboy as its logo.

Ever notice how the MHL tells you that they were born that way, that there is a 'gay gene', but tries real hard to influence people to the homosexual lifestyle? Ah, but I digress here...

Maybe sheepranchers, and the connotations that go with them, are an appropriate symbol for the gay lifestyle?

And no, I didn't see the movie, nor will I. A coworker saw it, he was 'dragged there' by his wife. To her credit, my wife is probably more opposed to this movie than I am (and she has a homosexual cousin who she loves dearly).

Lastly, here is my tribute to the American Cowboy:

There were three men sitting on a bench, one was a Texan wearing a cowboy hat, one was a Muslim wearing a turban, and the last fellow was an Apache with a feather in his hair.

The Indian was sad and gloomy as he said, "My people were many, but now we are few."

The Muslim puffs up and said, "Once my people were few, but now we are many."

The Texan adjusts his hat, rolls a smoke, leans back and drawls out, "That's because we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet."

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

If You Build It he Will Come

Anyone who hasn't seen Iran gearing up for this hasn't been paying attention.

Anyone wondering why we hit Iraq before Syria or Iran has been paying attention. Right?

You always take out the weak and minor allies before you go after the strong one, right? Divide and conquer. Cut him off and leave him all alone before you attack is a workable strategy.

Maybe (as if I think the Administration has a long term plan) they figured Syria is so minor that it can be ignored and are going after Iran's ally Iraq so when we go after Iran that Iran is all alone.

And what's this about the mahdi?
According to Shiites, the 12th imam disappeared as a child in the year 941. When he returns, they believe, he will reign on earth for seven years, before bringing about a final judgment and the end of the world.
Seven years? Who's that sound like? I bet the mahdi promises world peace too.

So they are building hotels and centerfuges expecting the mahdi. I wonder who'll have more power, the mahdi or the mulla(s) that declare him.

With Isreal folding in on itself, geographically and with dying leaders, I'm sure the arab world is feeling mighty confident right now.

The only thing causing them to consider where the 'will of allah' lies may just be the piles of insurgents piling up in Iraq.


So Sharon appears to be dying. I bet all those settlers are thinking the stroke came to late.

I wonder who his replacement will be, or more interestingly, what his replacements philosophy will be.

I'm not one to freak out about numbers. I know that numeralogy is satinic in orgin.

The last time I got my registration at the Secretary of State, by little sticker ended with the numbers 666. The clerk offered to swap it out for me, if I so wished. My response was "No thank you, I don't let things of the world bother me since I'm with One who overcame the world." She had a bible study guide out on her counter, but missed my reference.

Last Friday I wrote out a check and realized that there'd be an interesting date this year. Interesting in the sense of the Chinese curse. A date numbered 6-6-6, the number of man.

I plan to pay little to no attention to that day, but if someone steps into power that day, I surely will wonder..

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

ABCMan vs. The Potato Eater

I just watched Letterman and O'Reilly go at it. Some time ago I saw Letterman run from Terry Bradshaw and hide when he razzed him and Terry stood up and motioned towards him. Letterman had metioned that Bradshaws big hands scared him.

David tore into O'Reilly though. He held up Cindy Sheehan as an idol to be honored and when Bill said that while she was grieving, the liberals were taking advantage of her and exploiting her for their own purposes (I'm paraphrasing here...) which I think they are.

Letterman asked Bill if he has any kids. "One, about the same age as yours" was Bills reply. Then DL asked if he lost any in combat. "No" was BO's reply. DL then went on to tell BO that he was dishonoring her. BO's response was that CS was dishonoring everyone who had lost anyone to a Muslim. I took this to be every US Serviceman who's died or been wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan as well as the 3,000+ New Yorkers who died September 11, 2001.

Score one for Bill.

DL then ripped BO for PBJ admitting that he acted on flawed data as if he did it on purpose. BO listed the other nations that provided similar data. He failed to point out that the UN and the Clinton Administration, both, stated that Saddam Hussein had WMD.

BO shoulda hit DL with this.

Then DL went on to admit that he didn't really know anything and was speaking based on his feelings. BO shoulda pointed out that this is typical liberal motivation and activity in that Liberals act based on their feelings, facts be damned, and as long as they feel that they are doing something that is important, even if they are harming the very cause they claim to support.

Again this was another opening that BO missed hitting DL with.

DL kinda wound it up with stating that BO's viewpoint was "just crap." Kinda rude for a host and a response like this suggests a 5th grade ability for DL to handle conflict which is inline with his liberal behavior and beliefs.

All this followed BO mentioning that the "honored tradition of Christmas" is under organized attack in this country, which of course DL poo pooed and tried to play down.

It was some good tv. Entertaining, conflict where you don't expect to see it and it had one of the elements that I think makes a good movie, a good guy vs. a bad guy and the good guy won. Maybe not a clear victory, but he won by decision (and I'm sure the weenie liberals are telling each other that DL cleaned the stage with BO, but then again, their argueing skills probably don't go much farther than telling someone that their viewpoint 'is crap' either).

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Copyright Pending...

I was shoveling snow over the holidays and was thinking deep and meaningful thoughts about a myrad of things. The most relevant thought I had has vast commercial potential and needs legal protection worthy of its value so I'm claiming it, here, in cyberspace on this date.

It is the product name of the artificial uterus that the feminists hope will set women free of pregnancy (why, I don't know, but they sure seem to hate all things motherly).

I hereby claim "Womba" as my intellectual property.