Achtung: Passen Sie die Vögel

The large red headline jumps off the homepage of Der Witz. It translates to "Attention: Beware the Birds!" At first I thought it was a bird flu article being hyped, but upon reading it (I had to translate it through the google language tool first) I realized it was something far more ominious facing mankind.

Below is part of the explanation by Dr. Otto Krähe of the Dusseldorf Macro Evolutionary Universität:

Ve haf reason to believe that birds are evolving at a faster rate than the Earths larger species, such as Homo-Erectus, due to their small size and high generational turnover (i.e. due to their short lifespans) cycle.

There are two outcomes possible from this process. The first is an evolved super bird, smarter than the humans, who does not wish to share the earth with us. Our computer models show the human race being wiped to extinction by this mutated avian in 2 to 6 years.

The other possibility is a de-evolved bird. This beast would be a fierce raptor with characteristics dating from the Cretaceous period. Our best computer models show this species exterminating mankind in 3 to 8 years.

The worst case scenario is the de-evolved uber bird, a Cretaceous beast with an evolved intelligence. Against a creature such as this, mankind would last no longer than 18 months.

And there you have it. Birds and mutation are going to spell the end of mankind.

The article goes on to promote the WBO as the most capable means of meeting this challenge.

I for one don't believe it.