Perspective is Reality

In PREY, Micheal Crighton's main character ponders his distant wife:

I had read somewhere that this was a syndrome. The husband's out of work, his masculine appeal declines, his wife no longer respects him, and she wanders...

I had worked at a database consulting company for two years. Our marketing people constantly preached that "Perspective is Reality."

You could deliver a lousy product and if you could convince the customer it was going to meet all of his needs, easier than the one he currently used, he loved you. Not that we ever did that.

You could also do a perfect job. One so perfect that you think a detailed explanation is unnessary since it speaks for itself, so you don't really explain what you did to your customer. Then when you get back to the office to brag about how well it went, you are met with scowls from your 3 employers because they just spent the last 90 minutes (the customer was over two hours away) on the phone with an unhappy customer.

Reality aside, people only know what they see and can comprehend (yes, I know that there is a sermon in this point alone). That is why we are told that the battle is not physical, but against principalities and spiritual powers.

Getting back to the physical side, women are influenced by what they see and not only does the guideline that Micheal Crighton mention have merit, I think the opposite is true.

If a man has is successful, women want him. Is this why men have such a strong identity with what they do for work? Which came first, the identity or the job?

Antectdotally, I have supporting evidence for this point. I have been working evenings doing work on the side. For three years sidejobs have been scarce. Recently the phone has been ringing with a new customer each week. One perspective job would be at least a year and would triple or quadruple my salary. Of course I'd be paying my own employment taxes and all my health insurance, but she doesn't see that. She just sees me being successful.

We are in our early 40's and have been married for over 10 years. Up till recently the, ah, err, the intimite moments have been routine. 2-3 (3-4?) times a week with an increase in demand shortly before the plug goes in. Now I'm so hot she can't get enough of me, except that I haven't changed, just her perception of me.